Couples Therapy

There are several modalities used for couples therapy worldwide, but two of the most recognized approaches are Emotionally Focused Therapy and The Gottman Method.

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

  Drawing from the principles of attachment theory, EFT emphasizes the importance of emotional bonds between partners. Many conflicts are driven by unmet needs for connection, security, and reassurance. Instead of focusing on the surface-level details of the arguments, EFT aims to unearth these feelings at the core of the issues.

  With this kind of deeper understanding, couples can interact with more empathy and tenderness. The emotional bridge between them is restored and becomes the foundation with which they work through present and future conflicts.

  EFT typically requires several sessions. Early goals include diffusing the emotional distress the couple is experiencing, as well as teaching them ways to better recognize and respond to their partner’s needs. In the advanced stages of therapy, the goal becomes building conscious and consistent habits based on the tools learned in-session.

• The Gottman Method

  The Gottman Method was developed from decades of observational studies about the everyday interactions that shape relationship health. Central to this approach is the belief that negativity significantly impacts the brain, and unless it is countered with more positive interactions, the partnership will begin to decline. Maintaining this positive outlook in the relationship, as well as towards each other, will support the couple through turbulent times.

  Under this method, the relationship is treated as a house, and to make sure it is foundationally secure, the couple must build seven sturdy “floors”, which include building love maps, sharing fondness and admiration, turning toward each other, keeping the positive perspective, managing conflict, making life dreams come true, and creating shared meaning. To reinforce the whole house structure, the couple must also fortify the “weight-bearing walls” of trust and commitment.

  The therapist will start by creating a baseline for each individual and assessing the state of the union. This is followed by coaching through exercises that reestablish trust, boost fondness, and improve interaction skills. The final goal of treatment is to develop a resilient relationship that sustains itself outside of therapy.